One thing I am committed to is not letting people live in my head rent free. My mind is a valuable place and I refuse to allow low vibrating humans to occupy that space. Last month, I committed to looking for the silver lining in all my situations. I was curious how I would feel if I actively looked for the good in people, my home, my work, my family, and myself. What this taught me is I was holding on to some past wrongs with a few people, and it was time to fully let it all go.
We have to get comfortable forgiving people in silence and moving on.
This is truly next level self care. It doesn’t have to be a production where you announce to the world on social media that you are forgiving someone. You aren’t throwing shade or making sideways comments about them, because you have embraced forgiveness as healing for yourself.
Forgiveness is never about them. It’s always about and for you. I do believe the way forgiveness has been taught to many of us, makes it sound like you have to do it for the person or people who did you wrong.
You are guilted into forgiving before you are ready, and that stunts your healing.
I fully believe in and embrace being pissed, angry and full on rage if that is what you need to feel in the moment so you can move on. And, here’s the kicker…NOONE gets to tell you when or how long you get to be in those feelings. Feelings are meant to be felt. You gotta feel them fully, otherwise, that mess will show up somewhere else in your life. Usually, suppressed feelings show up in your body, or it disrupts your sleep, or you do destructive things to yourself instead of allowing yourself to fully feel what you feel.
Forgiveness is an exercise in being selfishly protective of how you allow people to engage with you. It forces you to raise your standards so poor treatment doesn’t happen to you again. You become unfuckwithable. You will guard how freely you allow people access to you. You will love you more than you love people liking or accepting you.
You deserve peace. You deserve healing. Give that to yourself.